Friday, May 29, 2009

How to Disappear Completely

So the message boards have been afire with talk of my mysterious absence.  Aside from my computer being repaired again and a trip to LA, there is one man to blame:
Yes, Dave Matthews.  Dave Matthews Band has a new album called Big Whiskey & the GrooGrux King that drops on June 2nd.  In tandem with the record release is a 4-part documentary on Fuse called The Road to Big Whiskey.  I was an assistant editor on it.

I know what you're thinking: "Dave Matthews Band sucks.  Well, they don't suck.  I mean I like a few of their songs, but I'd never buy a CD of theirs.  Wait, I have a CD of theirs.  But they're definitely not the best live band ever."

Before I started on the project I too was skeptical of DMB, claiming they had one good song ("What Would You Say") and one okay song ("The Space Between").  But as I watched more and more live footage, I realized that every person in the band is an extremely talented musician.  While I still feel their hardcore fans overrate them as the pinnacle of live performance, I have come to appreciate the band.  Call me a fag if you must.

Onto the new album: Dave has been quoted in multiple publications as saying, "If you don't like this album, you don't like music."  (I actually read that before I started on the project, and was curious to hear it 'cause that's a bold statement.)  Another Dave quote, which you won't hear: "If you don't like this record, you're a fucking retard."  So I had to listen, both my musical taste and intelligence at stake.

The verdict?  I haven't listened to all of DMB's records yet, but Big Whiskey does have some really good songs on it.  "Shake Me Like a Monkey" is even pretty awesome.  "Why I Am" and "Seven" are other standouts.  Sorry, but I'm not allowed to leak any tracks.

So be sure to check out The Road to Big Whiskey, airing in 4 parts on June 2, 3, 4, and 5 at 8pm on Fuse.  I'll be posting a mega-blog about my LA trip soon enough.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Paper or Taxes?

I just read in The New York Times that Bloomberg has proposed a citywide sales tax increase of half a percentage point, bringing it to a whopping 8.875%.  The tax increase will also include clothing.  According to the article, a typical household in NYC that makes $35,000 a year will end up paying an extra $129 a year.  The idea is to avoid deeper spending cuts and minimize layoffs.  Very briefly mentioned is a possible nickel surcharge on plastic bags.

Okay, here it goes.  Fuck that shit.  I can stand to pay the extra sales tax 'cause the only things I can manage to afford anymore are (tax-free) groceries, but don't fucking charge me to bring them home!

Just to prove I'm not some asshole who hates the environment, I decided to go to a website called TreeHugger.com to get my information.  They should be incredibly biased, no?  Well, check out their 6-page article on paper vs. plastic.  (They are website-sized pages, so it's not too long, but if you're into conserving time as much as conserving the ecosystem, just check out the facts and figures on page 5.)  Plastic bags are better than paper.  This article from How Stuff Works compares the two materials as well.  I find it funny that the first two things listed as being bad for paper are it causing more pollution and consuming more energy, as opposed to plastic's ugly appearance as litter and that it's deceptive to birds and wildlife as food.

I might as well include the Bullshit! episode on recycling, as it is quite entertaining.  Things to note would be how ineffectively workers appear to sort recycling and Penn & Teller's awesome paper-recycling magic trick.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3


So we might start getting charged if we choose plastic bags over paper ones.  Hmmn.  Here's a suggestion: How about we get rid of the recycling program in New York City?  Think of how much money that will save.  It's not a new concept either.  In 2002, New York suspended glass and plastic recycling when it was faced with guess what... a severe budget crisis.  By 2004, the program was back in action.

Exactly how effective is the program?  Likely not that effective if you actually put what they ask in your respective bins.  Did you know they don't recycle soiled paper or cardboard?  Those pizza boxes with grease on the bottom are trash.  Did you know they don't recycle plastic caps or lids?  Recycle all the milk jugs you want, but you have to take off the caps.  Want a list of what they actually recycle?  It's here.  So if you're like me, you probably figured you could keep the lids on certain things or recycle yogurt containers, but not in NYC.  By all reasoning, they'd actually have to go into your recycling and remove these things, taking more time and energy.

So what's the alternative to recycling?  There are two other arrows in that triangle, two other R's in that saying.  Reduce and reuse.  Reusable bags are the way to go.  From solely an energy standpoint, canvas bags are 14 times better than plastic bags and 39 times better than paper ones.  And they're sexier.  If you get paper bags, wrap your textbooks with them.  If you get plastic bags, pack your lunch in them.  Not in school?  Throw them away properly or keep them under your sink.  No Loggerheads should be under there.

Let's say we don't get rid of recycling.  There are plenty more ways this city could save money.  Here's three just for the subway:
1. Stop painting subway stations half-assedly.  Do it right all at once.  And don't use so many wet paint signs.
2. Make unlimited Metrocards reusable.  The new 5-cent bonus on a pay-per-card is the incentive to refill it.  Why not allow people who use the cards most often the option to refill?
3. Force buskers (at least in prime spots) to buy permits.  Anyone can perform in the subway in New York City.  How about charging a small fee to do so in the best locations?  The ones that block all the walkways in the busiest spots like Times Square and Union Square currently just have to wait on a rotating calendar for such places, but don't pay anything to perform.  You shouldn't have to pay to perform, but you should have to pay for blocking traffic.

If you're gonna put a surcharge on plastic bags, do it.  But put it on paper ones too.  The public will be forced to provide their own bags or pay a surcharge for use of the store's.  This is kind of stupid, especially because it will discourage consumers from buying more products because they'll want only enough to fill the bags they brought.  I have a solution.  If you spend a certain amount of money at the store, your bags are free!  Then there's incentive to actually buy more.  It doesn't take a genius to figure this shit out.  It just takes Bloomberg to fuck it all up.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Trollsen Twins

I found myself on PETA's website today when this photo caught my eye on another site:
I figure Holly Madison would rather be naked than pretty much anything, so I won't discuss the photo.  Anyway, I clicked a link which lead me to a page on the "Trollsen twins," Hairy-Kate and Trashley.  Click the link and dick around.  There's a video called Full House of Horrors (If I were Miller/Boyett, I'd sue.) and a game where you can dress the twins in bleeding animal furs.  Look, I don't wear fur and I'm not condoning it.  I don't personally kill animals.  I don't even like Mary-Kate and Ashley.  But isn't it mean of PETA to just make fun of how people look to support their views?  Where are the ethics in calling people ugly?  And most importantly, someone had to spend time making that copyright-infringing video and Flash game.  Couldn't it have been spent doing something more beneficial to their cause instead of personally attacking two girls nobody gives a damn about anymore anyway?  I have other problems with PETA, but Penn & Teller do a better job of pointing out hypocrisy than me.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4


Basically, don't donate money to PETA.  Give it to cancer research and children's hospitals instead.  I'd rather be naked than wear fur too, but that doesn't mean I support terrorism.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Mo' Street Signs

I sort of feel obligated to make mention of anything having to do with street signs now, so here's an article from The New York Times.  Apparently it's pretty easy to get a street named after you, unless you're Big Pun.  I'm probably gonna take 23rd Street.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

50 Albums You Didn't Hear Before You Were Brutally Raped & Murdered (41-50)

41. Colouring Lesson - Targets

Why You Didn't Hear It: You weren't from Maryland.

Why You Should've: A terrific blend of reggae and rock that actually sounds original.






42. Miniature Tigers - Tell It to the Volcano

Why You Didn't Hear It: You only went to the obvious CMJ showcases.

Why You Should've: It's the best album that sounds like anybody could've made it.





43. Ken Stringfellow - Touched

Why You Didn't Hear It: You're too young to know who the Posies were (I am), so you probably wouldn't care what a former member did.

Why You Should've: The songs are incredibly well written.




44. Sunfold - Toy Tugboats

Why You Didn't Hear It: You didn't know that all the members of Annuals are also this band.

Why You Should've: Arguably better than Annuals, Sunfold retain a similar sound, but seem more relaxed.





45. Spiraling - Transmitter

Why You Didn't Hear It: They aren't signed on a label.

Why You Should've: Imagine the Cars with Rick Wakeman on keys.  Cum yet?




46. James Yuill - Turning Down Water for Air

Why You Didn't Hear It: It hasn't been released in America yet.

Why You Should've: British folker beefs up the electronics to make one toe-tapping/melancholy record.





47. State Radio - Us Against the Crown

Why You Didn't Hear It: You went to college, so somehow you heard of Dispatch, but didn't know that them breaking up was actually the best thing for them.

Why You Should've: Protest rock hasn't been this fun since Rage Against the Machine.




48. Zox - The Wait

Why You Didn't Hear It: They seem to only tour with bands whose ticket prices are ridiculously high.

Why You Should've: They turned a violin into an electric instrument.





49. The Lucksmiths - Warmer Corners

Why You Didn't Hear It: You weren't from Australia.

Why You Should've: Belle and Sebastian without ever being "sad bastard music."






50. The Stills - Without Feathers

Why You Didn't Hear It: You liked Logic Will Break Your Heart, but heard this one didn't sound anything like it.

Why You Should've: It doesn't sound like Logic, which means it's not super-derivative of '80s Brit-rock. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Teenager Audio Test

There is a sound frequency which can generally not be heard by those over 25 that is used to keep teens from loitering in malls.  Go here and play it to see if you can hear it or not.  I'll warn you though, if you can, it's annoying as hell.  I'm interested to try it out again the end of this month when I'm 25.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

50 Albums You Didn't Hear Before You Were Brutally Raped & Murdered (31-40)

31. Oppenheimer - Oppenheimer

Why You Didn't Hear It: You weren't from Northern Ireland.

Why You Should've: The contrast between Shaun's soft vocals and Rocky's vocoder is just one of the many reasons to check this out.



32. Owsley - Owsley

Why You Didn't Hear It: You didn't actively seek out great power pop.

Why You Should've: It's a debut power pop album that was nominated for the Best Engineered Album Grammy.  That's fucking nuts.




33. Caesars - Paper Tigers

Why You Didn't Hear It: You've heard "Jerk It Out" in a movie before, but you didn't know who it was.

Why You Should've: It's a flat-out great rock album.






34. Kelly Bell Band - Phat Blues Music

Why You Didn't Hear It: You'd written off the blues as an old man's genre resistant to change.

Why You Should've: Kelly's powerful voice and "phat blues" style update the blues for all audiences.





35. The Realistics - The Realistics

Why You Didn't Hear It: Really, no one heard of them.  It's not your fault.

Why You Should've: At only 7 songs, it's more of an EP, but it's amazingly catchy, and their full-length was surprisingly disappointing.




36. The World/Inferno Friendship Society - Red-Eyed Soul

Why You Didn't Hear It: You were wholly unfamiliar that carnivalesque ska-punk was a genre.

Why You Should've: Um, it's carnivalesque ska-punk.






37. The Thrills - So Much for the City

Why You Didn't Hear It: You didn't think Irish boys could write songs about California.

Why You Should've: They can, making this an exceptional windows-down beach disc.





38. Steve Burns - Songs for Dustmites

Why You Didn't Hear It: You thought the host of Blue Clues died of a heroin overdose.

Why Should've: He didn't.  He teamed up with Steven Drozd, Michael Ivins, and David Fridmann to make an avant rock record that holds up with the best of the Flaming Lips.




39. 2 Skinnee J's - Supermercado

Why You Didn't Hear It: You assumed rap mixed with rock all sounded like Limp Bizkit.

Why You Should've: These guys had the smartest lyrics in the game... and a keytar.





40. Goldspot - Tally of the Yes Men

Why You Didn't Hear It: They didn't really promote this album in the U.S.

Why You Should've: I don't really hear the Bollywood influence on this one, but I do hear a bunch of great songs.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

50 Albums You Didn't Hear Before You Were Brutally Raped & Murdered (21-30)

21. Page France - Hello, Dear Wind

Why You Didn't Hear It: You mistook them for Sage Francis.

Why You Should've: This is the best non-Elephant 6 Elephant 6-sounding record out there.






22. Hotel Lights - Hotel Lights

Why You Didn't Hear It: You figured when Ben Folds Five broke up, the other guys just got jobs at Taco Bell.

Why You Should've: Darren Jessee, BFF's drummer, fronts this mellow outfit and writes some lovely tunes.






Why You Didn't Hear It: You don't listen to bands from France, even if they sing in English.

Why You Should've: They're getting ready to be really big, and this album is their best.





24. Kyte - Kyte

Why You Didn't Hear It: It's relatively new.

Why You Should've: They blend shoegaze and electronica into a soothing collection of songs.







Why You Didn't Hear It: You knew the one guy in the Postal Service, but not this one.

Why You Should've: "(This is) the Dream of Evan & Chan" was the synthesis of the Postal Service, and the other songs are great too.




26. Frank Turner - Love, Ire, & Song

Why You Didn't Hear It: It never even crossed your mind that folk-rock from an ex-hardcore British punk could be any good.

Why You Should've: "Substitute" has some of the best lyrics I've ever heard, and it's not even my favorite song on the album.





27. Sound Team - Movie Monster

Why You Didn't Hear It: Pitchfork was your Bible, and you went to Hell for it.

Why You Should've: Fuck Pitchfork.  This is some of the best anthemic indie rock ever recorded.






28. Jason Darling - Night Like My Head

Why You Didn't Hear It: You didn't visit used record stores.

Why You Should've: Darling was folktronica before it was cool.





29. Nightmare of You - Nightmare of You

Why You Didn't Hear It: You heard they were emo.

Why You Should've: They're not.  Throw the Jam and the Smiths into a blender, and you've got a band better than both of them.






30. Styrofoam - Nothing's Lost

Why You Didn't Hear It: You claimed you didn't like electronic music because it was too glitchy.

Why You Should've: Sure, it's glitchy, but it has songs and not just soundscapes.  Bonus points for hottie on the cover.