Monday, April 6, 2009


I'm assuming enough of you have heard of Stars, the Canadian indie band on Arts & Crafts, to know whom I'm posting about.  If not, sorry, I figured you had, so I left them off the 50 Albums list.  Heart is their best, though Set Yourself on Fire comes in at a close second.  (I promise I'll finish the list too.  I've been doing the layout of a book all day, and don't feel like dealing with Blogger's photo limitations right now.)

Some time ago, when they were touring, Stars posted a bulletin on MySpace asking for a fan to bring marijuana to that night's show.  Apparently, Torq needs his reefer.  And what did the lucky fan get if they brought Stars some weed?  A t-shirt.  With Stars shirts going for $20 apiece on their website, and a dime bag probably costing around twice as much now, it's an even trade.  But that's just it.  It's a totally even trade.  No free ticket to the show, and now your weed's all gone.  That's actually a shit deal.

Today they posted another bulletin:

stars are writing our new album in vancouver starting on wednesday and we find ourselves at the last minute bereft of the tools necessary to come up with some more sadomasochistic​ m.o.r. goodness for y'all. here's the pitch: we are looking for two really good guitars, a really good bass guitar, a two channel bass amp, two 2 channel guitar amps, a p.a., a microkorg and a moog odyssey type deal...should anyone of our beautiful western listeners own such things , and feels inclined to lend them to us from the 8th of april til the 18th, you will forever be on the vancouver guest list and receive one of Amy's beautiful smiles of gratitude. help! indie rock is scaring us! if you think you can lend us any of this and get it to our jamspace by wednesday morning, write us back and leave a contact. thanks in advance.​.​.​.​bands.​.​.​those funny little plans...that never seem quite right....

What?  You didn't bring your fucking instruments to a recording session for your new album?  Maybe you should take a little break from the bud if you're gonna forget your PA system.  At least with this "deal," you actually get on the guestlist.  But wait, let's do some math.  Let's be very generous and assume Stars perform in Vancouver twice a year.  Let's say with service charges, a ticket will run you $35 Canadian.  (Hey, paper's more expensive up there or something.  You've seen how much books cost.)  Let's be even more generous and assume that the 10-year-old Stars (a band whose members all play in other projects) last ten more years.

2 shows x $35 ticket x 10 years = $700

$700 to rent a bass, three amps, two keyboards, and a PA for ten days?  Okay, Stars, but Amy's smile better come with a handjob, and the album better be better than the last one.  And I want my weed back.

1 comment:

  1. Damn Canadians and their shifty business practices.